Sunday, January 25, 2015

Give it.

What if you knew the exact moment you were going to die?


What would you do?

Who would you see?


Where would you want to be?

What would be the last thing you would say?


These things are so hard to think about.... these questions force you to determine the most important people, and places, values, and things in your life.
But life is ever changing.

One moment you are in high school, working a simple job, excited for each next paycheck, the next you are in Spain letting your heart get accustomed to the people and culture, then you are at college, studying (thinking it will never end), you join a group of people and you connect with them, you fall in love,  you finally graduate, you get married, then you are at a job where you like the people but sometimes hate the work, but then you come home and have dinner with your children, and then they are going through the same cycle.....


We all have our own stories, but they are united by the fact that they are ever changing. Where you are in this moment May or very well May Not predict where you will be next.

To say, "live each moment as if it is your last" is idealistic and irresponsible. But to say, "find life in each moment" means you will truly live all the way until one of those moments is your last.
And the truth is not everyone can say they lived all their lives.

Some moments are sad, some are angry, some are unsure, some are joyful, some are sorrowful, some are serene..... Find life in each one.
And give life in each moment. There are plenty of people taking, shredding, and destroying life. Why not give life? Encourage, build up, invoke laughter, spark curiosity.....

This is life. Give it.


Sunday, May 25, 2014

Don't restrict it.

Life is the wonderful conglomeration of a series of unique occasions.

Think about that: no moment will compare to the one before it or after it.
Because the world will continue to spin and evolve. After all, we are merely guests on this planet. The one thing we are truly given here is time. Everything else is the product of it.

Time is constant; it will continue to pass regardless of our situations, regardless of our happiness, regardless of our desire. There is no sense in pleading for time to pass more slowly or more quickly. There is no point in rushing time or trying to hold onto it.
“Things" will never be done. You will never “get there.” And time will keep passing.

I say we will never "get there," but a like how A.A. Milne puts it better: 
"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday."

Someday. It is not a defined limit or destination. It is just when it is. Do we put too many restrictions on our time? Do we rush too much?
We take the highway instead of the scenic route.
We use self check out instead of talking to the cashier.
We buy fast passes to skip the line at amusement parks.
We take moving walkways to get through the airport quicker. 

Why do we feel the need to fast-forward life? I say, "We have nothing but time," and people with due dates and deadlines scoff at me. However, those things are the limitations of life. (And don't get me wrong, they are important!) But the freedom of life comes when you take the time restrictions away from everything else.
If you don't finish your yard work to help your elderly neighbor, if you don't get to your point in a conversation, if you take longer to arrive somewhere because you stopped to pick strawberries, if you miss exercising because you went out to breakfast with a friend, if your walk takes longer because you stopped to look at the sky and smell a flower... you have lived well. 

Think back on the best times of your life.
Generally they weren't done "on-time," and time didn't matter anyway. Generally, they are the times when you free yourself of the restrictions of time. 
 
You need to know that this time you are in, it’s all you’ve got. There are no guarantees and EVERYTHING is liable to change with time. So where you are, take your time. Enjoy your time. Cherish your time. This is life, don't restrict it.  



Friday, April 25, 2014

Love it.

Google defines pollution as: the presence in or introduction into the environment of a substance or thing that has harmful or poisonous effects.

We always find pollution equated with the environment or atmosphere, but it is more commonly achieved within our own beings. 

Pollution is poison. 

Poison doesn't only come from wild berries or arsenic... It consists of the things we ingest that pollute our being-- lies, hatred, degradation, harm, mind altering substances, jealousy, negativity. These things eat away at life. We poison ourselves daily as we hurt other people, as we refuse to forgive, as we fill our minds with images that promote destruction and violence, as we envy the things other people have, as we resort to technology and materials to provide happiness, as we drink away our sorrows. 

We all ingest our own form of poison that inhibits us from living fully. I think the strongest poison we ingest is hatred.

“Hatred eats the soul of the hater, not the hated.” 
― Alice Herz Sommer (Holocaust survivor)

Sometimes before you can love something, you need to recognize that you hate it. But then, you need to get over the hatred and choose to love. In all things we have a choice. Choose to love. Love the people you are with. Love the things you are doing. Love beauty and nature around you. Love the knowledge you are gaining. With love there is no room for jealousy or hate or envy or meanness. 

I think when all is said and done, we all want happiness. We all try to find it in our own way... Through family, money, fame, helping... but the true way to happiness is to love. The only way to be happy is to rid yourself of hate. There are a million things to hate in this world and a million petty complaints you can make each day. Or you can choose to truly enjoy all that you have. There is beauty in everything. 
This is life. Don't let it be filled with poison. Love it.




Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that. 
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Be open to it.

When Columbus reached America, he called the Native Americans Indians, because he intended to reach India. He did not, in fact, reach India. And Native Americans, therefore, are not Indians.
Personally, I do not get too hung up on Political Correctness because people will always find a way to be offended. I do, however, place importance on respect.
The point about Columbus, however, is not the offense, but rather the ignorance and force. Columbus explored the world-- but with expectation, and when the expectations were not met, they were forced anyway. And although we now know that it was incorrect, we still let the falsehood hold strong.

Sometimes our expectations get in the way of our happiness. We allow them to become the outline for happiness and find ourselves facing disappointment when things go differently. Sometimes the greatest happiness comes from being open and spontaneous.

Most people hate correction. We hate to be told that we are wrong. And sometimes "wrong" is merely a matter of opinion. But, it is an opinion, so it is appropriate to listen and try to understand it. People offer correction because they see things differently. Be open to other people's points of view. It might make things easier or help you to better express yourself or be more effective. But never let someone change who you are.
It is important to be who you are.

The whole universe depends on everything fitting together just right. If one piece busts, even the smallest piece... the entire universe will get busted.
Beasts of the Southern Wild

If you are loud, if you are bold, if you are defiant, if you are strong, if you are persuasive, that is good. If you are meek, if you are submissive, if you are gentle, if you are relaxed, that is good. If you are funny, if you are adventurous, if you are wild, if you are spontaneous, that is good. If you are focused, if you are ambitious, if you are strong willed, if you are empowered, that is good. If you are some of it all, that is good.
You have to own who you are, because you belong to no one else. Learning to reign yourself in will prove to be useful in coexistence, though.

Remember who you are, but be open to change, be open to different outcomes, be open to opinions and corrections. Explore and be open to discovery!



Are you happy? Smile. Are you sad? Cry. Are you angry? Shout. But always remember that your actions carry consequences and you do not live alone in this world.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Face It.

"Timon: Look, kid. Bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it. Right?
Simba: Right.
Timon: Wrong! When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world." 
-The Lion King

Within life there are circumstances and rules and boundaries that you will not like or want to accept or meet. There is no real winning at life, because, although Milton Bradley may think other wise, life is not a game. It is a rare and beautiful gift. The way to win is to be yourself among the rules and boundaries, to challenge what you don't believe in, do the best you can always, accept the consequences when you make a mistake, and never lose heart. 

When you turn your back on life, along with robbing others of the pleasure of knowing you, you are most importantly thieving yourself. When you give up because of circumstance, you are giving up on yourself. You are losing heart and putting aside all you care about and believe in. 

There are wicked things happening in today's world. There are also things you just don't like. We need to face it. Look the world and the circumstances boldly in the face and stand tall. Fight when that is what is right, and work through your circumstances when that is what is right. If you need to accept it, even if you don't like it, do so with heart. 

"They can't do that. It's the one thing they can't do. They can torture you, make you say anything. But they can't make you believe it. They can't get inside you. They can't get to your heart."
-George Orwell, 1984

There is no perfect circumstance. And if you step back to look at it, your circumstances are probably a lot better than you think. Remember that nothing is as detrimental as it initially seems. Remember who you are. Take responsibility for yourself. You are in charge of you; to blame other people and turn your back is only poisonous to you. 

This is a real heart; it's purpose is to pump blood throughout the body. It is the link to existence and the strength of life. Take care of the heart. 
This is life. Face it with heart. 


Sunday, January 26, 2014

Enjoy it.

"What I wish for all students is some release from the clammy grip of the future. I wish them a chance to savor each segment of their education as en experience in itself and not as a grim preparation for the next step. I wish them the right to experiment, to trip and fall, to learn that defeat is as instructive as victory and is not the end of the world... The road ahead is a long one and it will have more unexpected turns than they think."
William Zinsser, College Pressures

We simply cannot manage life. There is not a map that will not have detours. There is not a plot that will avoid digression. But you know what I say? I say life is found in that digression.

What happens when you mess up? What happens when you get the answer wrong? What happens when you change your mind?
Life keeps going. And perhaps you meet someone new, you discover a talent, you find something that makes you happy, you help someone.... at worst you have learned and grown and evolved. You have opened a world of possibilities.

There is not day that you should not find a way to laugh and enjoy yourself. Smile in the face of life. It is too beautiful a gift not to enjoy it.

Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! –Anne Frank
Anne Frank suffered persecution in the Holocaust. We all face battles and challenges. Never degrade yours and act as if your issues don't matter; they do. Mental health is as important as physical health. There are things that hurt is everyday. But, that doesn't mean life-- or any single day-- is a waste. Remember that you never know how wonderful you can truly be, challenge yourself to enjoy everyday and find something to be grateful for. 
Laugh! 

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
-ACDC, Big Balls

Find humor in simple plays on words, in the irony of the world, in the silly things of your childhood... There is a time to be serious, and there is a time to throw your head back, clap your hands, snort hard, and laugh until you cannot breathe. There is a time to let tears stream down your face and drop to the ground, and a time to jump and dance and let your whole body be giddy. Enjoy all of it! 
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." 
-Charlie Chaplin

There will be regrets, there will be challenges and hardships, there will be pain, there will be so many things you can over analyze and get all caught up in-- but the trick is not to define yourself by those things! Define yourself by beauty! The beauty that is all around you: the beauty of the flowers, of knowledge, of friendships, of a simple touch, of love, of your own wonder. 
This is life. Enjoy it. 


Sunday, January 19, 2014

Take it for what it is and make it yours.

"I do not think we have a 'right' to happiness. If happiness happens, say thanks."
Marlene Dietrich
We don't choose which family we are born into, we don't choose which country or state we live in, we don't choose how many siblings we have, we don't choose our innate talents and abilities, we don't choose the way some people treat us, we don't choose the way other people feel about us.

The truth is we choose very little concerning our circumstances. And we are indebted by nobody, entitled to nothing. However, we choose what we do with our circumstances, we choose how we live.

I believe in romantic realists. A realist accurately assesses a situation and responds reasonably and accordingly; a romantic hopes for the best anyway. Being cynical and downhearted will spare you plenty of disappointment and pain, but you, nor anyone else, will be any better for it.
Disappointment will come, people will hurt you and you will hurt people. Some people will disagree with your opinion and some will disagree with your entire existence. You will scrape your knee. You will lose people. You will fail in your job. You will let loved ones down. People will insult you. It is inevitable that there will be darkness.
But even in the dead of night, the moon offers some light.

You don't have to do things because that's how your parents did them, you don't have to do things the way your leaders did them, you don't have to do things the way your peers and friends do them, you don't even have to do things the way you did them before.

Allow yourself to grow and change. And allow yourself to be happy. When disappointment shows its face, take it and move forward. 

See the beauty in life around you. The world is alive, and you are a part of that. Make your part your own.

"The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."
-Woody Allen

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Cultivate it.

"When you get personal with people, they will get personal with you."
-Dodie, the 80 year-old woman who owns her own antique auction shop in Sylva, NC and is considering going back to school for communication.

The paradox of life is that in the end you get what you put in. "Saving up" will do nothing to help you experience the wealth of life. The only way to really receive here is to invest. It has been said that the truly happy people are the ones who are vulnerable and open and have deep and meaningful relationships. So if you aren't putting yourself out there or putting anything in, don't complain when you get nothing out.

Take an active part in your life. It has been given to you, it is yours. It is no one else's responsibility to see to it that you succeed, that you matter, that you are happy, that you accomplish what you want to, that you get a good grade, that you get what you deserve. However, you have all the tools necessary to cultivate your own life.

A seed, when it grows, has to push through the dirt and manure to reach the air and sun. But it isn't an obstacle so much as the pathway of growth. It is the preparation to becoming the flower or tomato or willow tree it is meant to be. We look at challenges and we say "adversity" with such a negative connotation. There will be times that are challenging, times when you are unhappy, times when things don't go the way they should, times when you put in everything and still get nothing out.

Because this is life. And it is unstable, illogical, irrational, unpredictable, and messy.

So maybe you have to play in the dirt a little to make it to the sunlight. But there is no need to rush out of the adversity. No need to patch up the bad; after all, no patch is well placed. Take your time. Allow yourself to be unhappy, to feel disappointed, to lose the game, to feel hurt. And play in the dirt, work through the manure.
"Life can be carried only in the hands of the unhurried." -Anonymous

This is life. It's messy, it takes work, it takes your participation. Cultivate it.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Find Happiness in it.

“I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell truths. I tell what ought to be truth.”
― Tennessee WilliamsA Streetcar Named Desire
Here I am in this moment, blowing kisses to a 20-month old boy, standing behind a table full of cookies, wearing a shirt that's three sizes too big.
Here I am in this moment, sitting in my favorite grass, eating in the messiest way possible, feeling nothing but the slightest breeze against my bare arms.
Here I am in this moment, staring at the glass, looking at all the flavors, remembering fourth grade, picking an ice-cream to fill that cardboard cone I actually like so much.
Here I am in this moment, walking into the backyard of a person I have never met in my life, eating catered food, listening to live bluegrass music, and enjoying someone else's party.
Here I am in this moment, saying the things I think and feel, become naked in my vulnerability, laughing without reason, finding comfort in being my full self.

Life itself is a full and enriching experience when you don't try so hard to make it one. It's when you answer the phone and say, "Let me get dressed, and I'll be right there," that the richest memory is made. It's when you allow yourself to sit and do nothing, that you realize how white the clouds are against the blue sky. It's when you, at the end of a full day, take time to stop and exhale, that you really appreciate life.

Stop writing your paper when your favorite song comes on. Look into the eyes of someone that you cherish. Share your umbrella with somebody when it rains. Laugh at the joke a child invents. Introduce yourself by a false name to someone you will never see again.

Nobody said life could only go one way. Don't expect things to be perfect based on some ideals you've developed according to "everyone else." Make your own experience, find your own happiness.

You cannot rely on other people, or what you think should happen, to make you happy. Life itself is full of magic. Realism does not mean negativity. Realism does not mean lack of luster. Realism: the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly.
The ability to continue despite the challenges, despite the deception or disappointment, the ability to find happiness along with the truth is real bliss. Lying is an unnecessary distortion of life. And life is good.

Wherever you are in this moment, see it for what it is, and find happiness in it. After all, life is just the wonderful conglomeration of a series of unique events. Life is a compilation of the moments.


Monday, October 14, 2013

Experience it.

According to ecology.com/birth-death-rates there are 1.8 deaths every second, which is equal to 107 deaths a minute, which is more than 150,000 a day. However, there are 4.2 births every second which is 252 worldwide births per minute which means that there are over 360,000 births per day. 

We are here when we are here. When we are gone, we are no longer here. What a strange concept to grasp. With so many people being born and dying each day, it is hard not to think, "Do I matter?"

We've all heard the cliche, to the world you may only be one person, but to one person you may be the world. And that is true. Given the numbers, the amount of people that exist and also cease to exist on the daily basis, you have done well if within your time you have affected somebody.

However, how much will you really matter if nothing matters to you? In order to make some sort of affect or change, you have to experience what you are doing. Take an active part in your life.
There is some stigma, you see, on feelings. Just today I heard someone say, "Dealing with feelings? Who likes dealing with feelings?" When I asked why he didn't like dealing with feelings, he said, "Well because.... I don't know. I just don't."

We are sometimes so afraid to involve ourselves and actually feel something because then it may be a bad feeling, it may be something that hurts us. But we cannot know healing without pain, we cannot know good with bad, we cannot know light without dark, and we cannot know living without death.

Life is not for the spectators, but rather for the participators. (Although the numbers are always changing) on the day you were born, you were one of the 360,000... On the day you die, you will be one of the 150,000. What are you doing with that ellipsis? Are you actively participating in your "dot dot dot"? How do you matter within that time?

This is the life you have been given. Experience it while you have it.




Monday, June 10, 2013

Recognize it.

"Living things are dying, dying, dying all the time, and others are taking their place, not even knowing they are taking the place of things that have died." Joyce Carol Oates, We Were the Mulvaneys

We are made of the things of the earth, we live on the earth, we die, and our bodies go back into it. This is the cycle of life. So often we are then to ponder, what is the point of the part in which we live on the earth? Our hearts beat and pump on average 1,900 gallons of blood through our bodies everyday. And then one day, they stop beating and they do not start again.

Talk of death is generally regarded as macabre and avoided, but when we attend a funeral or hear of those who died, we are left to consider our own mortality.
If no one inhabited the planet, it would still spin.
Before you are born, you are nonexistent. After you die, you will never be human again on this earth. You were not, you are, then you are not again.
You will never answer the phone, be in another picture, open any mail, give any more gifts, touch someone's hand,  cash another check, have any more children, set any records, sign any documents... again.

A precious jewel is precious because of it's scarcity. It is not disheartening to consider mortality, but refreshing to know that there is life. Life is limited, but it is a gem.



Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Make it good.

Freud says that there are three parts of our brains. The Id, the Ego, and the Superego. The Id is what makes you desire what you want when you want it. It is necessary for babies to receive care and food. When they are hungry, their Id makes them wail. This is what makes you want to satisfy your needs automatically and without the balance of the other two parts of your brain would make us all savage.
In Lord of the Flies, young, British boys are stuck together on an island and create their own society. Some of them decide to follow basic moral code and rules of a society while others become a product of their surrounding. They become savage jungle people. All it took for one boy to turn was killing his first pig. When he took control of another life, he lost control of his and let his desires overcome him. These boys were given a free place with an opportunity to do whatever they wanted without societal consequences.
The other day I was at a red light trying to turn left. Nobody was coming. Nobody was at the light. Nobody was next to me to see me. Why didn't I turn left?
Can I say I am morally good for that reason? Or do I simply uphold the rules and standards set around me? By whose standards do I chose to live? Are we in control of our own selves? Are we battling our desires against rules? Or are we conforming to the rules because we know they are for our own good?

But this is life. We are here. It is good. So shan't we live well? If I am well, but what I do makes you not well, I am not as well as I can be. We benefit from the well being of all those around us, and others should benefit from us. Because that is good.
Stop and think about what you are thinking about. Think about what you are doing. Think about why you are doing it. Think about who is involved and affected. Think about how you benefit and how others do as well. Stop at red lights.


Friday, February 15, 2013

Attack it.

I knew a kid who said, "attack life; it's going to kill you anyway."
The beauty of this world is how different we all are created. Diversity is a celebration of those differences. Embrace diversity.
No day, no minute will pass that can be relived. 2:14 on March 3rd, 1964 will ever happen again. Rachel Elizabeth Raineri, born on September 3rd, 1995, who doesn't like pineapple, loves meeting new people and indulges in competition will not walk this world again.
Make it your own.

Is it better to thoroughly be yourself always or learn to adjust to certain situations? Which situations require some adjustment? How much of a product of your surroundings are you? Where have you lowered any of your standards? Is all change good or bad or is some simply change? Is life all black and white and is there only one right answer to everything? How often do you think about the effect of what you do has on others?

"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."
Mahatma Gandhi.

I don't believe in stereotypes and I dislike generalizations. No one person perfectly fits into one description and can be predicted based on some part of their character. People are capricious; always give them a chance.

Whether you are an extrovert, love card tricks, prefer manual labor, are romantic, dream of serving in Africa, love numbers, don't do well in groups, or none of the above... attack life.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Choose it.

I had a music teacher who said, "Rules are for fools." That wasn't to say that people who follow rules are fools, but rather that rules are made because of foolish people.

It has been said that "opinions are like butts; everyone has one and they all stink." Each day there are new controversies.

Are you against abortion, or do you think people deserve the choice? Should church and state be kept separate? How big of an age gap in a relationship is too big? Is new technology destroying the authentic values of life? Should gay marriage be legal?

If you say you stand for anything, know why. Put thought into the decisions you make. Decide for yourself what you stand for.
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." -- 1 Peter 3:15

The ideas we hear, the people we meet, the literature we read, the places we go all influence our opinions and decisions. Don't be afraid to agree or disagree with people but understand your opinion and what backs it before making an argument.
Just because it is someone else's opinion does not make it wrong. Be open-minded, but also know what you think. And your opinion may change over time; we evolve, we grow.

"Don't be too openminded that your brains fall out."
-- Anonymous



Thursday, February 7, 2013

Value it.







Awakenings (1990) is a movie about catatonic patients who experience one long period followed by various other brief periods of "awakening" due to medical experiments.
A quote from the film:
"The summer was extraordinary. It was a season of rebirth and innocence. A miracle. For fifteen patients and for us, the caretakers. But now we have to adjust to the realities of the miracles. We can hide behind the veil of science and say 'It was the drug that failed'. Or that the illness itself had returned, or that the patients were unable to cope, losing decades of their lives. The reality is - we don't know what went wrong any more than we know what went right. What we do know is that as the chemical window closed, another awakening took place. That the human spirit is more powerful than any drug and that is what needs to be nourished. With work, play, friendship, family. These are the things that matter. This is what we've forgotten. The simplest things."

Experiments and dicoveries yield documentable results, but life isn't a chart or graph. 

Where do we find the value in life? How can it be that a young child in a third world country can be happier than a successful business man or even a mother of three? Is a catatonic life worth living? Would it be better for some people to be sterilized or defective children to be aborted? How do some victims of abuse and rape come out on top, conquering their pain while others commit suicide? If, in order to have a larger sense of freedom, basic freedoms must be violated, is it worth it?

What consumes you in life? What gives you importance? What dictates your happiness? 

Because of hardships we recognize joys, because of chaos we recognize peace, because of lack we recognize fulfillment, because of loss we recognize love. 

We are granted one existence made up of a string of occurrences. Each has its own importance; are the sum of the parts greater than the whole? 

Take care of your words and your actions. One match can light a whole forest on fire, but one drop of water cannot subside the flame.


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Live it Grand

This is life. It is an oportunity. It is an adventure. It is grand. Do not expect yours to be like anyone else's. Walk in the park by yourself. Dance with your dog. Watch a child take deliberate steps. Take a bath with candles. People watch! Listen to loud music. Inhale the crisp winter air into your lungs. Don't think about your response while someone speaks to you. Watch silent movies. Listen to a baby's laughter. Hug a tree. Wear a hat on your birthday. Do something nice for someone else. Go abroad!
This is life; live it grand.