Cultivate it.

"When you get personal with people, they will get personal with you."
-Dodie, the 80 year-old woman who owns her own antique auction shop in Sylva, NC and is considering going back to school for communication.

The paradox of life is that in the end you get what you put in. "Saving up" will do nothing to help you experience the wealth of life. The only way to really receive here is to invest. It has been said that the truly happy people are the ones who are vulnerable and open and have deep and meaningful relationships. So if you aren't putting yourself out there or putting anything in, don't complain when you get nothing out.

Take an active part in your life. It has been given to you, it is yours. It is no one else's responsibility to see to it that you succeed, that you matter, that you are happy, that you accomplish what you want to, that you get a good grade, that you get what you deserve. However, you have all the tools necessary to cultivate your own life.

A seed, when it grows, has to push through the dirt and manure to reach the air and sun. But it isn't an obstacle so much as the pathway of growth. It is the preparation to becoming the flower or tomato or willow tree it is meant to be. We look at challenges and we say "adversity" with such a negative connotation. There will be times that are challenging, times when you are unhappy, times when things don't go the way they should, times when you put in everything and still get nothing out.

Because this is life. And it is unstable, illogical, irrational, unpredictable, and messy.

So maybe you have to play in the dirt a little to make it to the sunlight. But there is no need to rush out of the adversity. No need to patch up the bad; after all, no patch is well placed. Take your time. Allow yourself to be unhappy, to feel disappointed, to lose the game, to feel hurt. And play in the dirt, work through the manure.
"Life can be carried only in the hands of the unhurried." -Anonymous

This is life. It's messy, it takes work, it takes your participation. Cultivate it.

Find Happiness in it.

“I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell truths. I tell what ought to be truth.”
― Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire

Here I am in this moment, blowing kisses to a 20-month old boy, standing behind a table full of cookies, wearing a shirt that's three sizes too big.
Here I am in this moment, sitting in my favorite grass, eating in the messiest way possible, feeling nothing but the slightest breeze against my bare arms.
Here I am in this moment, staring at the glass, looking at all the flavors, remembering fourth grade, picking an ice-cream to fill that cardboard cone I actually like so much.
Here I am in this moment, walking into the backyard of a person I have never met in my life, eating catered food, listening to live bluegrass music, and enjoying someone else's party.
Here I am in this moment, saying the things I think and feel, become naked in my vulnerability, laughing without reason, finding comfort in being my full self.

Life itself is a full and enriching experience when you don't try so hard to make it one. It's when you answer the phone and say, "Let me get dressed, and I'll be right there," that the richest memory is made. It's when you allow yourself to sit and do nothing, that you realize how white the clouds are against the blue sky. It's when you, at the end of a full day, take time to stop and exhale, that you really appreciate life.

Stop writing your paper when your favorite song comes on. Look into the eyes of someone that you cherish. Share your umbrella with somebody when it rains. Laugh at the joke a child invents. Introduce yourself by a false name to someone you will never see again.

Nobody said life could only go one way. Don't expect things to be perfect based on some ideals you've developed according to "everyone else." Make your own experience, find your own happiness.

You cannot rely on other people, or what you think should happen, to make you happy. Life itself is full of magic. Realism does not mean negativity. Realism does not mean lack of luster. Realism: the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly.
The ability to continue despite the challenges, despite the deception or disappointment, the ability to find happiness along with the truth is real bliss. Lying is an unnecessary distortion of life. And life is good.

Wherever you are in this moment, see it for what it is, and find happiness in it. After all, life is just the wonderful conglomeration of a series of unique events. Life is a compilation of the moments.

Experience it.

According to ecology.com/birth-death-rates there are 1.8 deaths every second, which is equal to 107 deaths a minute, which is more than 150,000 a day. However, there are 4.2 births every second which is 252 worldwide births per minute which means that there are over 360,000 births per day. 

We are here when we are here. When we are gone, we are no longer here. What a strange concept to grasp. With so many people being born and dying each day, it is hard not to think, "Do I matter?"

We've all heard the cliche, to the world you may only be one person, but to one person you may be the world. And that is true. Given the numbers, the amount of people that exist and also cease to exist on the daily basis, you have done well if within your time you have affected somebody.

However, how much will you really matter if nothing matters to you? In order to make some sort of affect or change, you have to experience what you are doing. Take an active part in your life.
There is some stigma, you see, on feelings. Just today I heard someone say, "Dealing with feelings? Who likes dealing with feelings?" When I asked why he didn't like dealing with feelings, he said, "Well because.... I don't know. I just don't."

We are sometimes so afraid to involve ourselves and actually feel something because then it may be a bad feeling, it may be something that hurts us. But we cannot know healing without pain, we cannot know good with bad, we cannot know light without dark, and we cannot know living without death.

Life is not for the spectators, but rather for the participators. (Although the numbers are always changing) on the day you were born, you were one of the 360,000... On the day you die, you will be one of the 150,000. What are you doing with that ellipsis? Are you actively participating in your "dot dot dot"? How do you matter within that time?

This is the life you have been given. Experience it while you have it.

Recognize it.

"Living things are dying, dying, dying all the time, and others are taking their place, not even knowing they are taking the place of things that have died." Joyce Carol Oates, We Were the Mulvaneys

We are made of the things of the earth, we live on the earth, we die, and our bodies go back into it. This is the cycle of life. So often we are then to ponder, what is the point of the part in which we live on the earth? Our hearts beat and pump on average 1,900 gallons of blood through our bodies everyday. And then one day, they stop beating and they do not start again.

Talk of death is generally regarded as macabre and avoided, but when we attend a funeral or hear of those who died, we are left to consider our own mortality.
If no one inhabited the planet, it would still spin.
Before you are born, you are nonexistent. After you die, you will never be human again on this earth. You were not, you are, then you are not again.
You will never answer the phone, be in another picture, open any mail, give any more gifts, touch someone's hand,  cash another check, have any more children, set any records, sign any documents... again.

A precious jewel is precious because of it's scarcity. It is not disheartening to consider mortality, but refreshing to know that there is life. Life is limited, but it is a gem.

Make it good.

Freud says that there are three parts of our brains. The Id, the Ego, and the Superego. The Id is what makes you desire what you want when you want it. It is necessary for babies to receive care and food. When they are hungry, their Id makes them wail. This is what makes you want to satisfy your needs automatically and without the balance of the other two parts of your brain would make us all savage.
In Lord of the Flies, young, British boys are stuck together on an island and create their own society. Some of them decide to follow basic moral code and rules of a society while others become a product of their surrounding. They become savage jungle people. All it took for one boy to turn was killing his first pig. When he took control of another life, he lost control of his and let his desires overcome him. These boys were given a free place with an opportunity to do whatever they wanted without societal consequences.
The other day I was at a red light trying to turn left. Nobody was coming. Nobody was at the light. Nobody was next to me to see me. Why didn't I turn left?
Can I say I am morally good for that reason? Or do I simply uphold the rules and standards set around me? By whose standards do I chose to live? Are we in control of our own selves? Are we battling our desires against rules? Or are we conforming to the rules because we know they are for our own good?

But this is life. We are here. It is good. So shan't we live well? If I am well, but what I do makes you not well, I am not as well as I can be. We benefit from the well being of all those around us, and others should benefit from us. Because that is good.
Stop and think about what you are thinking about. Think about what you are doing. Think about why you are doing it. Think about who is involved and affected. Think about how you benefit and how others do as well. Stop at red lights.

Attack it.

I knew a kid who said, "attack life; it's going to kill you anyway."
The beauty of this world is how different we all are created. Diversity is a celebration of those differences. Embrace diversity.
No day, no minute will pass that can be relived. 2:14 on March 3rd, 1964 will ever happen again. Rachel Elizabeth Raineri, born on September 3rd, 1995, who doesn't like pineapple, loves meeting new people and indulges in competition will not walk this world again.
Make it your own.

Is it better to thoroughly be yourself always or learn to adjust to certain situations? Which situations require some adjustment? How much of a product of your surroundings are you? Where have you lowered any of your standards? Is all change good or bad or is some simply change? Is life all black and white and is there only one right answer to everything? How often do you think about the effect of what you do has on others?

"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."
Mahatma Gandhi.

I don't believe in stereotypes and I dislike generalizations. No one person perfectly fits into one description and can be predicted based on some part of their character. People are capricious; always give them a chance.

Whether you are an extrovert, love card tricks, prefer manual labor, are romantic, dream of serving in Africa, love numbers, don't do well in groups, or none of the above... attack life.

Choose it.

I had a music teacher who said, "Rules are for fools." That wasn't to say that people who follow rules are fools, but rather that rules are made because of foolish people.

It has been said that "opinions are like butts; everyone has one and they all stink." Each day there are new controversies.

Are you against abortion, or do you think people deserve the choice? Should church and state be kept separate? How big of an age gap in a relationship is too big? Is new technology destroying the authentic values of life? Should gay marriage be legal?

If you say you stand for anything, know why. Put thought into the decisions you make. Decide for yourself what you stand for.
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." -- 1 Peter 3:15

The ideas we hear, the people we meet, the literature we read, the places we go all influence our opinions and decisions. Don't be afraid to agree or disagree with people but understand your opinion and what backs it before making an argument.
Just because it is someone else's opinion does not make it wrong. Be open-minded, but also know what you think. And your opinion may change over time; we evolve, we grow.

"Don't be too openminded that your brains fall out."
-- Anonymous

Value it.

Awakenings (1990) is a movie about catatonic patients who experience one long period followed by various other brief periods of "awakening" due to medical experiments.
A quote from the film:
"The summer was extraordinary. It was a season of rebirth and innocence. A miracle. For fifteen patients and for us, the caretakers. But now we have to adjust to the realities of the miracles. We can hide behind the veil of science and say 'It was the drug that failed'. Or that the illness itself had returned, or that the patients were unable to cope, losing decades of their lives. The reality is - we don't know what went wrong any more than we know what went right. What we do know is that as the chemical window closed, another awakening took place. That the human spirit is more powerful than any drug and that is what needs to be nourished. With work, play, friendship, family. These are the things that matter. This is what we've forgotten. The simplest things."

Experiments and dicoveries yield documentable results, but life isn't a chart or graph. 

Where do we find the value in life? How can it be that a young child in a third world country can be happier than a successful business man or even a mother of three? Is a catatonic life worth living? Would it be better for some people to be sterilized or defective children to be aborted? How do some victims of abuse and rape come out on top, conquering their pain while others commit suicide? If, in order to have a larger sense of freedom, basic freedoms must be violated, is it worth it?

What consumes you in life? What gives you importance? What dictates your happiness? 

Because of hardships we recognize joys, because of chaos we recognize peace, because of lack we recognize fulfillment, because of loss we recognize love. 

We are granted one existence made up of a string of occurrences. Each has its own importance; are the sum of the parts greater than the whole? 

Take care of your words and your actions. One match can light a whole forest on fire, but one drop of water cannot subside the flame.

Live it Grand

This is life. It is an oportunity. It is an adventure. It is grand. Do not expect yours to be like anyone else's. Walk in the park by yourself. Dance with your dog. Watch a child take deliberate steps. Take a bath with candles. People watch! Listen to loud music. Inhale the crisp winter air into your lungs. Don't think about your response while someone speaks to you. Watch silent movies. Listen to a baby's laughter. Hug a tree. Wear a hat on your birthday. Do something nice for someone else. Go abroad!
This is life; live it grand.