Cultivate it.

"When you get personal with people, they will get personal with you."
-Dodie, the 80 year-old woman who owns her own antique auction shop in Sylva, NC and is considering going back to school for communication.

The paradox of life is that in the end you get what you put in. "Saving up" will do nothing to help you experience the wealth of life. The only way to really receive here is to invest. It has been said that the truly happy people are the ones who are vulnerable and open and have deep and meaningful relationships. So if you aren't putting yourself out there or putting anything in, don't complain when you get nothing out.

Take an active part in your life. It has been given to you, it is yours. It is no one else's responsibility to see to it that you succeed, that you matter, that you are happy, that you accomplish what you want to, that you get a good grade, that you get what you deserve. However, you have all the tools necessary to cultivate your own life.

A seed, when it grows, has to push through the dirt and manure to reach the air and sun. But it isn't an obstacle so much as the pathway of growth. It is the preparation to becoming the flower or tomato or willow tree it is meant to be. We look at challenges and we say "adversity" with such a negative connotation. There will be times that are challenging, times when you are unhappy, times when things don't go the way they should, times when you put in everything and still get nothing out.

Because this is life. And it is unstable, illogical, irrational, unpredictable, and messy.

So maybe you have to play in the dirt a little to make it to the sunlight. But there is no need to rush out of the adversity. No need to patch up the bad; after all, no patch is well placed. Take your time. Allow yourself to be unhappy, to feel disappointed, to lose the game, to feel hurt. And play in the dirt, work through the manure.
"Life can be carried only in the hands of the unhurried." -Anonymous

This is life. It's messy, it takes work, it takes your participation. Cultivate it.

Find Happiness in it.

“I don't want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don't tell truths. I tell what ought to be truth.”
― Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire

Here I am in this moment, blowing kisses to a 20-month old boy, standing behind a table full of cookies, wearing a shirt that's three sizes too big.
Here I am in this moment, sitting in my favorite grass, eating in the messiest way possible, feeling nothing but the slightest breeze against my bare arms.
Here I am in this moment, staring at the glass, looking at all the flavors, remembering fourth grade, picking an ice-cream to fill that cardboard cone I actually like so much.
Here I am in this moment, walking into the backyard of a person I have never met in my life, eating catered food, listening to live bluegrass music, and enjoying someone else's party.
Here I am in this moment, saying the things I think and feel, become naked in my vulnerability, laughing without reason, finding comfort in being my full self.

Life itself is a full and enriching experience when you don't try so hard to make it one. It's when you answer the phone and say, "Let me get dressed, and I'll be right there," that the richest memory is made. It's when you allow yourself to sit and do nothing, that you realize how white the clouds are against the blue sky. It's when you, at the end of a full day, take time to stop and exhale, that you really appreciate life.

Stop writing your paper when your favorite song comes on. Look into the eyes of someone that you cherish. Share your umbrella with somebody when it rains. Laugh at the joke a child invents. Introduce yourself by a false name to someone you will never see again.

Nobody said life could only go one way. Don't expect things to be perfect based on some ideals you've developed according to "everyone else." Make your own experience, find your own happiness.

You cannot rely on other people, or what you think should happen, to make you happy. Life itself is full of magic. Realism does not mean negativity. Realism does not mean lack of luster. Realism: the attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly.
The ability to continue despite the challenges, despite the deception or disappointment, the ability to find happiness along with the truth is real bliss. Lying is an unnecessary distortion of life. And life is good.

Wherever you are in this moment, see it for what it is, and find happiness in it. After all, life is just the wonderful conglomeration of a series of unique events. Life is a compilation of the moments.